Tiny Backseat Drivers

My kids say the craziest things to me while I drive so I feel the need to make a top ten list:

10.  Are we going slow enough that I can take my seat belt off?

9.  I think you are going the wrong way.

8.  Its green, and green means go, you need to go mom or someone is going to toot at you (I’d love to deny their knowledge of cause and effect in this area but I cannot.  I am a tooter).

7.  STOPPPPPPP!!! Its red!

6. Which road are we on?

5.  Can you see where you are going or do you need glasses?

4.  When are we ever going to be there?

3.  Go faster mommy!

2.  I know more about driving than you, mom.

1.  Mom I think you need a map because you are driving crazy!

Now while the majority of quotes are self-explanatory I will justify the number one quote from the backseat.  We were headed to lunch at our usual place and my four-year old knew exactly how to get there.  I was taking a different route to avoid toll roads.  Driving crazy meant I wasn’t driving the way she was expecting me to.  I am not a crazy driver, I promise. Yes, I will pick up your kid from school and take them to my house for a play date and you have nothing to fear.

What are some quotes you have heard from the backseat? Anyone ever get pulled over with your kids in the car? If so, what did they say?

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28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. alwayssomethingtodo
    Feb 17, 2012 @ 14:54:53

    When my daughter first learned to read she had a thing about reading the speed limit signs. The whole time we drove, every sign she saw she would notify me of the speed limit. It was cute at first, then it drove me a little crazy.


  2. Rasta teacher
    Feb 14, 2012 @ 13:49:34

    Priceless. i am sure you love them a lot, they sound really cute .-)


  3. Momma E.
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 20:17:18

    Heard from the backseat as we drove down a backcountry road in WA State: “Daddy, Trees are made out of logs!”


  4. KL
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 18:48:38

    Love the things your kids say! Mine is no different. He has lately developed the following….”Oh! Come on! Why are they so slow! They must be OLD!”
    I SWEAR he did not hear that from me!!!!…. Well… maybe a little bit 🙂
    He likes to ask me philosophical questions while he has me trapped too.
    “Mummy, why did my cousin have to get christened? What is a christening? Did you wash my sins away? Can you prove that there is no God? Can I tell them in the christening that my Mummy said there is no such thing?” eeeeekkkkk!!! I’m trying to concentrate on driving!


  5. Perfecting Motherhood
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 18:26:30

    Don’t you love backseat drivers in training?!

    Here are a few of my favorites from my kids:
    – Honk your horn, Mama! (after spending too much time in their dad’s car)
    – Just drive them off the road (same as above)
    – Stop, the light’s red (when I turn left on green arrow but they look at the main light – this always scares the crap out of me!)


  6. littleprince68
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 18:18:10

    Hello! In my case, my son is very quiet when I’m the one who’s on the wheels. Not the same when my hubby is driving. Ready for the truth? Well, it’s because my son knows I’m not a good driver as his dad is and I need to concentrate or else something “not funny” might happen.ahahaha


  7. amandasworldofmotherhood
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 17:24:16

    Haha. My kiddos are little still so i don’t get much back seat driving yet.

    Ok, hope this doesn’t come out wrong(especially bc this my first comment on your blog), but the car seat fanatic in me is screaming.

    The first picture you have up, is that normal strapping in? The straps are really loose and chest clip is really low. I am just thinking of everyone’s safety, I promise.


    • MamaMoo
      Feb 13, 2012 @ 17:45:14

      No offense taken at all! I don’t think we were actually driving in any of these pics. I can’t remember why they were even all taken. In some of them emily is in Morgans seat not even buckled at all. In the first one em is in her appropriate car seat but she is also in her pjs so we may have taken the pic before we tightened the straps and got on the road. I honestly can’t say but I can say thank you for the reminder to make sure they are buckled in safely!


  8. msfredrickson
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 12:21:32

    Thats awesome! Thank you for sharing!
    The one I like from my kids is:
    ” Dont worry I didnt see any cops mom” and
    “You crossed the yellow line, You cant do that!” (while I am turning into the center turning lane) “Sheesh they drive slow…can you pass them now and go faster?”


  9. Tracey
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 09:56:09

    My three year-old gets frustrated with me, because he understands that “green means go” and “red means stop,” but he still doesn’t quite get why, when you turn at an intersection, the light for the turning lane will be greeen, but as you go through the intersection, the light for the lane you turn onto will be red. Exasperated, he’ll call out, “Red means stop, Mom!”

    He also likes to make sure I close the garage door before pulling out of the driveway. I’ll admit that once, many months ago, I forgot to do so–he was the one who noticed, and urgently exclaimed over and over, “Close the garage door, Mom!” It took me a few moments to realize he was serious.


  10. Danielle Ortiz
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 08:10:49

    Oh and I forgot the best part, if I get frustrated with a driver and huff or something he automatically assumes that driver is a female. If he cant see in their car he asks me “Is that a girl driver, I cant see” haha


  11. Danielle Ortiz
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 08:09:34

    Haha Ryan Is the same way. I tell him I am taking the long way if I miss an exit…. His response UUGGHHHH. He tells me which road to turn on to get to his house and always lets me know how to get to MacDonalds so we can get some nuggets. That is when I tell him I have NOO money and NOO gas left. He believes it and says well next time then 🙂


  12. fivesecondrules
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 07:58:08

    My 5yo is the worst! He tells me to go at stop signs when I clearly cannot. Whenever I hear him say the word, it makes make want to take my foot off the break. I swear it’s going to get us in an accident! He also yells at me for driving too fast, driving too slow and for not turning into McDonald’s!


  13. pouringperfume
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 07:47:36

    My kids always ask, “Mom…are you listening to Gary Garmin? He seems mad.”


  14. bigstormsbiggervictories
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 07:46:58

    Haha, those are great! My son always asks me to turn on the radio and wants to know the title of every song!! “What it called?” He is awesome with direction too so he knows if I’m not going the right way. “Where are we going?” “Mommy…where you going!!?” 🙂


    • MamaMoo
      Feb 14, 2012 @ 09:52:27

      Yes, my girls want me to tell them the words so they can sing along and when I don’t know the words they are shocked and ask why I am listening to the song if I don’t know the words.


  15. My era
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 07:21:10

    Thank you for this list, for I am gradually heading towards the same 😀


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